“Not tonight babe, I’m just not in the mood”. If you use this or any one of the hundreds of excuses to not have sex and you might have to fend off additional attempts, or just downright hurt some feelings. That’s ok though because to have the great sex you desire; you need to be ready for it and want it just as much as your partner. If you don’t, then it’s better to decline and save it for another time when you’re more into the idea. Problem is, you might be stuck and not know how to let someone down, in which case maybe we can help. Join us as we outline some of the most often used excuses to not have sex you can offer your partner if you’re not ready to get dirty just yet. We’ve included some outlandish ones too just for fun.
Why you might need excuses to not have sex?
Having sex takes two people (or more) – that’s a fact. Unfortunately, there are often times when you and your partner won’t be on the same page when it comes to being in the mood, which can make sex a difficult thing to coordinate. If you aren’t ready for sex when your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner is, it doesn’t mean you don’t need to stress out about it. It’s a complicated thing and it’s better just to accept that your libidos are different and might not align a lot of the time.
You should though, also voice your feelings about any relationship issues you’re feeling so that they’re out in the open where you can begin to find solutions for them. At the same time, you should also know things you can say to get out of having sex without hurting feelings, because respect and intimacy are so important in a relationship. That’s why we’ve put together this article of excuses for not having sex that anyone can use as needed.
The best excuses to not have sex
Sex is great, but that doesn’t mean you want to do it all the time. It’s actually quite common that partners aren’t on the same page when it comes to their sex drive, and one party might be much more eager than the other. That’s totally normal but it’s an issue that needs to be managed. Talking about your needs is the best approach, but sometimes you just need a good reason not to have sex. If this sounds like you, then keep reading for our list of the most common (and likely the best) excuses to not have sex that both men and women can use in any situation.
1. I have a headache
This is probably the number one reason partners give each other for not having sex as well as being one of the oldest excuses in the book. Of course it is, because it makes sense. A headache or a migraine can strike at anytime and would certainly take the pleasure out of the experience. What makes the excuse even better is the flexibility it offers, meaning that unlike having a flu, you can use it to deflect sex now, but then “take an Advil” and be good to go later on.
2. I’m too tired
If you’ve had a long day and you’re super tired, then having sex might not be something you want to do right now. It can be a strenuous activity, and that means you’ll at least need the energy to do your part. This excuse for not having sex is a go-to for lots of people because there are so many reasons you could be too tired for sex.
- You had a long day at work
- The kids were acting up all day
- You cleaned up around the house
- You worked out at the gym
- You didn’t get enough sleep
- You took care of so many chores today
- You’re feeling tired after a meal
- You got bombarded by your devices all day
- You’re stressed out
3. I feel like I’m getting sick
If you’re not feeling your best then having sex probably isn’t at the top of your list of things you’re interested in. You won’t have the energy and you might be in pain as you feel the onset of a fever, body aches, congestion, sore throat, a cough and who knows what else. You probably won’t feel very sexy either, and that’s pretty important for a fun time in the sheets.
4. I ate too much
Most couples will have sex later in the evening or before bed, which usually comes after the biggest meal of the day – dinner. Food is awesome, so we overeat – we’ve all done that – and you end up feeling bloated, gross, and like an explosion in the bathroom could be imminent. When you have a food baby in your tummy, it’s definitely not the time for bedroom acrobatics, which makes this one of the best excuses for not having sex.
5. I’m not comfortable with my body
Depending on your body composition and how you feel about yourself, getting naked and jumping into bed for sex might not seem like the most desirable thing to do. Sure, you could turn the lights off, but roaming hands might still find those extra pounds you’re carrying around your belly. Feeling self-conscious is a sure-fire way to kill the mood, and that’s why this is a very common reason people will give to avoid sex.
6. I’m not in the mood
Engine not revved up for sex? Then sex probably isn’t what’s on your mind at the moment. Even though your partner wants to, you just don’t feel like it and that’s fine. It can be tough to attune your mood, especially if your libido is low (or worse, you’re not attracted), but that doesn’t mean you need to do anything you’d rather not. Saying you’re not horny can be frustrating for your partner, but it’s often true, which makes this a reason that’s totally worthy of not having sex. This could always be an excuse for acting weird as well.
7. I have a UTI
This might be too much information for some relationships, but having a UTI will certainly rule out any sexual endeavors for the time being. Not only is it an uncomfortable experience, having sex while anything down there is infected will only makes things worse. It’s better to abstain and make up for it another time.
8. The kids will hear
“The kids will hear” is one of the top excuses that couples with children use to get out of having sex with good reason. Sex usually makes a racket, and often it’s not just the neighbors you need to worry about. If you have kids at home, chances are the thought of them hearing you in the act could be a real turnoff and mood-killer.
9. I have to be up early in the morning
A real quickie aside, sex shouldn’t be rushed. You need to make sure your teeth are brushed and you’re at least somewhat groomed before you start setting the mood or engaging in some foreplay to get the motor going. All that takes time, which you might not have a lot of if it’s already bedtime and you need to be up early. Maybe you can plan things better next time, but for now you’d rather get enough sleep so you’re fresh for the day.
10. My stomach is upset
Perhaps you ate or drank too much and now your stomach hurts. It doesn’t need to be a food related thing either, so if for whatever reason your stomach is feeling queasy, then sex could seem like a risky proposition. Last thing you want is to experience the need for a mad dash to the washroom midway through, or letting a fart escape (it could even be worse). This excuse to not have sex is also similar to the headache excuse in that you can have a stomach ache “right now” and be fine later on.
11. I didn’t shower today
Feeling gross and stinky from lack of a bath or shower? Then getting intimate is probably not the first thought on your mind. Body odors and such can be a real turn off for both parties, and that’s why not being fresh enough for sex is one of the biggest reasons people give when they don’t want to have sex.
12. My favorite TV show is on
Sex is great but it can also get a bit repetitive if you’ve been in a relationship for some time. That’s when something like a good TV show or movie could seem like a more entertaining option. Could you do both? Probably, but then you’d likely miss some of what’s happening on the screen, and almost certainly not enjoy the sex as much as you really should.
More good reasons to not have sex
If you enjoyed our list of best excuses for not having sex, then we have good news – we have more! The following reasons for not having sex didn’t make it into the cream-of-the-crop list but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still great options if you need to get out of having sex. Here you’ll find additional common excuses to not have sex as well as some more elaborate ones that you might not have thought of before.
13. It’s too late
Had a late dinner? Watched a few too many episodes of a show? Time flies, so it could be that you were in the mood for sex but now you really should get to sleep. A proper romp takes time so it would be totally understandable that your excuse for not having sex is that it’s gotten too late.
14. It’s too early
On the reverse of our previous excuse, you might not be up for having sex because it’s too early. You’d rather have a romantic snuggle as you pass out after making love, which is why you’re saying no because it’s not bedtime yet.
15. The sex is boring
Sex is supposed to be fun and exhilarating, so when it isn’t then you might not really feel like it after a while. We hope your sex life hasn’t become a chore, but if it has, then giving your partner this reason for turning down sex could make sense. Be careful not to hurt any feelings in the process, and consider talking with your s/o to figure out what can be done to reignite the fire.
16. I don’t have time
Life is busy and one of the things that often falls by the wayside is sex. It’s unfortunate when it happens, but it also gives you a hurt-free excuse to avoid having sex with your partner. Although, if you never have time, then that’s not good either and putting together a sex schedule could be a good idea.
17. I just made the bed
Whether it’s folding laundry, vacuuming your carpets, or making the bed – chores in the bedroom suck. To that note, having sex will almost certainly mean you need to redo the sheets, which can be a real hassle. However, we’re not big fans of this excuse to not hook up with someone because it leaves too many outs, but if you’re running out of things to say, it could work in your favor.
18. It’s too hot
Our bodies are great at regulating temperature, but only to a point. Lots of people find it impossible to sleep if their hot and going for a round will only make it more difficult. This is a good summertime excuse not to bang, especially if you don’t have A/C, because nobody wants a gross, sweaty sleep.
19. It’s too cold
In the summer you could say it’s too hot, and in the winter… you guessed it… you’re too cold. Maybe it’s not the best excuse because one thing that sex is definitely good for is warming you up, which is not to say that being a human icicle will leave you in the mood for romance.
20. I just don’t want to
Fair enough, at least you’re being honest. It’s just one of those things that happens in a relationship, where sometimes one of you will be turned on and the other not. You could have sex as a favor, but that kind of gets old quick. It’s better to postpone it until you’re both ready to go, which is why this reason for not having sex is a good one to use.
21. I have to work
It sucks when we have to bring our work home with us but sometimes that’s the name of the game. If you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment, then it could very easily get in the way of having sex. This no-nonsense excuse to not have sex works every time. I could also work as an excuse for failure to appear in court, and other similar situations.
22. We’re in a fight
One of our close friends used to complain about this excuse for not having sex all the time. It was almost comical (because it wasn’t happening to us personally), but like clockwork, his partner would always seem to pick a fight just before bedtime in order to get out of having sex.
23. Someone has bad breath
Bad breath is definitely not sexy, in fact, it can be a major turnoff. Not having sex because of it makes sense, but it’s also something that’s pretty easily remedied. Think about if this excuse not to have sex will work before you use it, or if it will just delay things for a few minutes.
Excuses for guys to not have sex
There’s definitely a stigma that men just always want to have sex. Maybe it’s true, but the same goes for women too, and it’s not like guys are immune to not wanting to bang sometimes. If you’re in the predicament of trying to get out of having sex, then check out these excuses to not to have sex with your girlfriend or wife.
24. The game is on
Should sports take precedent over sex? Probably not, but sometimes they do. If there’s a game on that you really want to watch, or finish watching, then you can use this excuse to not have sex. Your partner might be annoyed, but at least they shouldn’t be hurt by your reasoning.
25. My back is acting up
After a tough day at work, or in the gym, or for some other reason entirely, a sore back could really make for some uncomfortable sex. Anyone who has ever experienced back pain can attest to the reluctance to go through the exertion (and movements) required for sex.
26. I’m too drunk
This is one of those excuses for guys not to have sex that works for women too. Drunk sex can be fun but it can also be really sloppy. On top of that, especially for men, there are times when the booze has rendered the necessary body parts inactive and out of commission for a while. Many times, it’s just better to pass out and sleep it off instead. You can always pick it up again in the morning with some awesome hangover sex.
27. I didn’t get my Viagra prescription filled
It sucks but erectile disfunction is a growing concern in today’s society. There’s no shame in it, and luckily some great ED treatment options exist in the form of Viagra or Cialis medication. If you need an excuse to not have sex with your wife or girlfriend, then saying you’re out of pills can work well, even if it is a little bit uncomfortable to bring up.
28. I’m worried you’ll get pregnant
Everyone knows that sex at certain times in a woman’s cycle greatly increases the chances of getting pregnant. If having a baby isn’t something you’ve planned for at this time, then declining to have sex because of the elevated risk is totally fair.
29. I masturbated earlier
You wanked one out earlier, you sly dog, and spent your energy in the wrong place. Your partner will probably be a bit upset, but they won’t be able to argue with the fact that you’re not in the mood just now. Maybe next time, you should save it for the real thing so you can keep your significant other satisfied and happy.
30. I’m too stressed out
Performing when you’re under stress can be a difficult proposition at times. Not only that, but you probably won’t be in the mood for sex to being with if you’re feeling anxious. You need to be honest when you don’t want sex, and this could be a good reason for you to get out of it for now.
Excuses for women to not have sex
Women love sex just the same as men, but sometimes it can be a little more complicated. There is often some planning involved and lots of things can end up taking you out of the zone you want to be in when it comes to getting busy. So, if you’re tired of fending off your partner when they want to have sex but you’re not in the mood, then you need to read our list of go-to excuses for women to not have sex.
31. I need to shave me legs
This common excuse women give when they don’t want to have sex is at the top of our list for a good reason. To enjoy sex, you need to feel sexy, and many women just can’t get the thought of their legs feeling like prickly pears out of their heads. Of course, you could just shave your legs, but to be fair, that does take time, and it’s something you might not want to do right now.
32. I’m having my period
Period sex feels great but it’s also often more than a little messy. It can also gross your partner out if they’re squeamish, which means that avoiding sex while on your period can be a good idea. This excuse for women to not have sex with your boyfriend works like a charm, and gives you an easy out for a few days every month.
33. I never reach an orgasm
It’s a fact that many women have a hard time reaching an orgasm. While sex isn’t only about the big O, having that sensory reward definitely helps increase your appetite. Using this excuse to not have sex will probably leave your partner hurt, frustrated or wondering what they’re doing wrong, but it will get you out of having sex. It could also lead to you having the necessary conversation/experimentation to figure things out.
34. I just did my skin care routine
Not that men don’t take care of their skin too, but many women take things to the extreme. Ten minutes spent on skin care while showering, then another five products that need to be strategically applied afterwards. When that much effort goes into something, it would make sense that having sex afterwards (getting sweaty and greasy again), might be out of the question.
35. I had a fight with my sister
Being in the mood for sex is a must if you want it to be fun. That said, being on bad terms with your sister/family member/friend could really put a damper on things. If you’re upset then just tell your partner about it, and they’ll understand if now is not the right time to have sex.
36. I saw a spider near the bed
You were all hot and ready to go until you spied an eight-legged critter crawling around the headboard. If you’re like many people, then spiders and other insects make you very uncomfortable to say the least, and after a close encounter, sex will be the last thing on your mind.
37. The bed makes too much noise
Knowing that your neighbors or housemates can hear you having sex is a huge mood killer. That’s why this is a great excuse for women not to have sex if the bed is liable to start creaking, bumping, or bouncing loudly when you take your partner for a ride.
38. I’m still sore form last time
If you had a long or particularly intense session recently, then it could be that your body just isn’t up for doing it again so soon. This reason is used more than you’d think, and it’s a completely valid excuse to not having sex with your husband or boyfriend.
39. I’m scared I’ll fart
Stomach feeling a little off? Got something brewing inside that might end up in a noxious release? Maybe it’s nasty for us to mention, but it’s a real concern when your about to get intimate with someone you care about. Maybe your partner wouldn’t mind, but you’ll likely be mortified if you toot, which is why being gassy is a definite excuse for women not to have sex.
40. I just got my hair done
You just spent three hours at the hairdresser getting your hairstyle redone and now your partner wants to mess it all up again? No thanks, you need to enjoy your look for at least a day, which means that there won’t be any sex happening tonight, that’s for sure.
Funny excuses for not having sex
You should never feel pressured to have sex, and you should always have a couple of outs up your sleeve that you can use to deflect any advances. Sometimes you’ll also want to keep the mood light and easy even though you’re turning down your partners hints in the bedroom. In all honesty, these funny excuses to not have sex are meant more to be more of a joke, and let you mess around with your partner without being totally serious. You’ll also probably find they only delay sexy time, and won’t work to get you out of it on their own.
41. The dog or cat is staring
You love your pets but it gets annoying when they take on the role of an overly concerned chaperone. If you’ve got animals that sleep on the bed, or in the bedroom, you’ll probably know what we’re talking about. It sounds funny, but getting it on while a pair of pet eyes are creepily following your every move, can be super distracting and big turn off.
42. Our zodiac signs don’t align
You probably won’t be taken seriously unless your partner is into astrology as well, so this funny excuse to not have sex is meant to be a more tongue and cheek way to deflect sex. Who knows though, if your zodiac signs aren’t compatible, it could also be true.
43. Didn’t we do it a few days ago?
Say this with a smile and you’ll likely get a smile in return. At least it shows you do have a sex life, even if you’re about to shut down someone’s advances for romance right now.
44. Your mother is visiting
Having your parents or in-laws staying with you can make getting sexy kind of difficult. Last thing you want is for them to hear you, or even worse, stumble upon you in the act. Often, just the thought of them being around is enough to turn most people off, which makes this a reliable and humorous excuse to not have sex.
45. Your begging didn’t seem sincere
If your partner is hassling you for sex, that can be really annoying. If they start downright begging, then it becomes a huge turnoff and you’ll be even less likely to give in. Luckily, this can provide you with a good excuse to turn them down, even if you’ll probably hurt their feelings in the process. Oh well, it’s better they learn now, and not make groveling a habit.
46. It’s not your birthday
You might get an “are you joking me?” type of response, but you like to keep sex as a real treat, which is why you don’t want to do it too often. Your partner won’t take you seriously at first, but if you keep your game face on, this excuse could work in your favor.
47. You don’t have enough Instagram likes
There’s probably lots of people out there these days for whom this would be an actual serious excuse. To us it seems more like a funny way of saying no, especially if the person you say it too is or isn’t into social media. They should count themselves lucky you aren’t giving them another excuse for blocking someone on social media.
48. The Benadryl is kicking in
Having trouble sleeping? Benadryl can help. It can also hep you avoid having sex if you don’t want to while keeping the mood fun. Understandable that you won’t want to have sex if you’re all woozy, groggy and ready for some deep, restorative sleep.
49. You didn’t help with the dishes
Your partner thought they could shirk their duties after dinner, but you’re going to show them. You were going to say no anyways, but with this funny excuse to say no to sex you’ll have turned your refusal into their own fault.
50. The cat will be jealous
Yes, animals can be protective, and yes, they might actually be jealous of the attention you’re getting (and giving). Sounds silly, and it is, which is why this is a good joking excuse to not have sex.
51. You didn’t floss
Using your nicest, cutest voice, politely decline to have sex because your partner didn’t floss their teeth. It will work as a funny excuse not to bang (temporarily), and it will also probably get them to step up their oral hygiene game at the same time.
52. My mom said no
You take your mom’s suggestions very seriously, especially when it comes to having sex (wink wink). That’s why you not having sex tonight is out of your hands. “Shrugs and winks”
53. I don’t have sex on days that end in “y”
“Hmmm, well everyday ends in that letter, so what the heck?” As far as cheeky responses to sex go, this one probably takes the cake. Good luck getting out of sex without adding another excuse as a follow-up, but at least you’ll set yourself up well by teasing your partner. This could also be a great excuse to get out of plans.
54. Is that all you think about?
If your partner asks you for sex a lot, just ask them this and then don’t say anything else. They’ll probably stammer a few words pleading their best intentions before falling silent as they wait for you to elaborate. If you don’t, they might just go away and leave you alone to enjoy whatever you were doing, otherwise you’ll need to give another excuse to not have sex as a follow up.