Relationships are hard, plain, and simple. Even really good relationships have their ups and downs. Every time you get into a relationship, you are taking a calculated risk that might involve getting hurt by someone, or by you hurting someone else.
Whenever you get involved with someone else romantically and start a relationship with them, you are opening up three potential doorways:
- The relationship works, and you stay together.
- The relationship fails, and they break up with you.
- The relationship fails, and you break up with them.
Every scenario has its difficulties, but this article will focus on the third path: breaking up with someone. It’s never an easy thing to do and might come with a lot of guilt, so we’ve put together a list of good excuses to break up with someone that will hopefully help get you through your breakup and not feel bad about it.
Good excuses to break up with someone
Is it easier to be broken up with? Or to break up with someone else? Both scenarios can be exhausting and painful experiences. A lot of people will say they rather be broken up with if they know the relationship is doomed so they don’t have to experience the guilt that comes with being the person delivering the bad news.
How long have you been together? Do you live with each other? Are you married? These are a few questions that determine how ugly the breakup might get.
1. Your partner cheated
This might be the easiest excuse to break up with someone on the entire list. If your partner cheated on you, then it’s a no-brainer. Of course, this doesn’t mean you won’t be upset, because being cheated on is a horrible feeling. However, if you break up with your partner due to them cheating, then at least you’ll have the satisfaction of ending things on your terms.
There are a lot of creative ways people break up with their partners in this scenario. There is a whole genre on Tiktok and YouTube dedicated to cheating spouses. We’re not recommending you try and go viral with your breakup, but they are oddly satisfying to watch.
2. Parents don’t approve
The approval of your parents is a big deal to some. After all, your parents brought you into this world and up until a certain point, they basically have the power to control your life.
Some people will choose to defy their parents in the pursuit of love, but if you want to get out of a relationship, using this excuse to break up with someone will work. Your partner might think you have no spine in the end, but whatever!
3. Friends don’t like you
Like your parents, your friend’s approval matters a lot about who you date. They say that your friends are the family you choose, so if your bestie has a major problem with your partner, it’s probably for good reason.
On the flip side, hearing that your partner’s friends don’t like you would be devastating. This is definitely not a nice excuse for breaking up with someone, but sometimes being nice is not the answer.
4. It’s not you, it’s me
Another classic example of a line you can give your partner to end things. Saying that ‘it’s not you, but me’ places the blame on yourself to try and make the other person feel better. This can be categorized under excuses to break up with someone nicely.
This excuse to break up with someone became popular with Seinfeld and has been used in relationships ever since.
5. We are too different
Having different interests is a very common excuse for breaking up with someone. If you’re going to spend your life together, then you’ll want to have a few things in common.
There is a saying that “opposites attract” so you may hear this as a retort if you use this as an excuse. Unfortunately for your partner, that saying doesn’t make things better.
6. School is more important
Taking your education seriously is a big time commitment, especially the older you get. Telling your partner that school is more important probably signifies that your relationship wasn’t that serious, to begin with.
If you’re going to use school as an excuse to break up with someone, there are a few different angles:
- You have too much homework and don’t have time to date
- You need to study more to get into a good college or university
- You’re going away for school and don’t want a long-distance relationship
Any of these excuses to break up with someone are completely valid. Nobody should judge you for wanting the best for yourself.
7. Need to focus on my career
Some jobs take an extreme amount of focus, which means working long hours. For example, if you’re a lawyer or doctor, there is no such thing as 9-5 hours where you get to check out at the end of your shift. To get ahead in these professions, especially if you are first starting out, take a lot of extra time out of your schedule. Unfortunately, this means there is little time for a relationship.
8. You don’t treat me right
If your partner is mean to you, or constantly belittling you in private, and in front of others, that is a big red flag. If this is how your partner treats you, you are better off ending things earlier before they get too serious.
There are thousands of stories where people suffer through abusive relationships for years to the point where they feel as if they have no more self-worth. If you spot these signs early, it’s best to move on. Nobody in your peer group will blame you if this is your reason for breaking up with someone.
9. Things are moving too fast
Commitment issues? You’re not alone. Millions of people have problems committing to long-term relationships. If things are moving faster than what makes you comfortable, it can become scary. This is when the walls come up, and you go into self-defense mode.
If this is your reason for breaking up with someone, that is completely fine, but you might want to work through any issues you might have to prevent hurting someone else again in the future.
10. Don’t feel the same way anymore
People change over time. Unfortunately, this means that relationships will often change too. Going through the honeymoon phase when you first start dating someone is always fun, but it doesn’t last forever.
If you’ve realized that you simply don’t feel the same way anymore about your partner, it’s better to end things by ripping the bandaid off. Stringing them along when your feelings have changed is not fair to anyone.
11. I don’t like your friends
You can often judge people by the company that they keep. If your partner has a group of degenerate friends that are always getting in trouble, it’s understandable why you might want to end things.
If your partner is getting into trouble with their friends, then even more of a reason. Getting a call that your partner is in jail because of a stupid incident involving their friends is definite grounds for ending things.
You don’t want to be that person who forces your partner to abandon their friends either, because that will just open the doors for resentment in the future. That is another can of worms that will lead to a toxic relationship.
12. Have feelings for someone else
This might be one of the more mean excuses for breaking up with someone on this list, but if it’s the truth, then so be it. If you have feelings for someone else, hopefully you have not acted on them while you’re still in your current relationship.
If this is a fake reason for breaking up with your partner, you can be sure it will work! This excuse is an instant relationship ender.
13. Your partner drinks too much or does drugs
If your partner drinks too much and/or is high all the time, then that’s a good reason to call it quits. Maybe this wasn’t always the case, and when you first started dating it wasn’t a problem. But if it has worsened over time to the point where they are always intoxicated, then it’s time to move on.
Giving someone the chance to change in this scenario is important because addiction is a serious thing. Helping your partner get through their struggles is all you can do. If your partner is unwilling to change for the best, then it’s on them and this becomes an easy excuse for breaking up with them.
Breaking up over the phone
You may ask yourself, is it bad to break up over the phone? Not necessarily. A lot of people want closure to a relationship in person, but if you have only been on a few dates with someone, breaking up with them over the phone is acceptable.
It is also okay to break up with someone over the phone if you’re in a long-distance relationship. Taking a trip just to break up with someone doesn’t make sense and can make things worse in the end.
How to break up with someone over the phone
Here are 8 steps on how to break up with someone over the phone so you can avoid that awkward face-to-face meeting:
- Make sure you’re alone and can have a private conversation.
- Free up your schedule for the next few hours, just in case it drags on.
- Plan out what you’re going to say ahead of time.
- Reach out to them outside work or school hours, like on the weekend or in the evening.
- Don’t beat around the bush, and get straight to the point.
- Be concise with your words so you don’t give them false hope for the future.
- Prepare for some blowback and angry comments.
- Hang up or stop responding if things turn ugly.
If you’ve only been on a few dates, then you can break up with someone through text message. Send them a nice message that is decently long. Explain your situation and apologize for texting.
How to break up with someone over text message
If breaking up with someone over a phone call is too difficult, here are 7 steps on how to break up with someone over text message:
- Write out your message and proof read it.
- Send your text message at a time when they aren’t working or at school.
- Be direct and concise with your words.
- Don’t be mean.
- Plan your responses to what they might say ahead of time.
- Wish them well in the future.
- Be prepared to stop responding if things turn ugly.
Best place to break up with someone
If you are more old-fashioned, and don’t want to break up with someone over the phone, then you’ll want to do it in person.
You see it all the time in movies, someone takes their partner out for a nice dinner, only to have that awkward conversation and break up with them in public. Is this the best place to break up with someone? Probably not.
On top of the pain from being dumped, you are now putting them in a humiliating situation in front of other people.
The best place to break up with someone is either at your house or their house (if you don’t live together).
Another good place to break up with someone is in a quiet outdoor setting, like in a park. If things get ugly, you can walk away without other people witnessing a major scene.
It’s best to be honest
If you’re thinking about excuses to break up with a guy or girl, being honest is usually the best course. If any of the excuses to break up with someone found in this article make sense for your situation and have truth to them, then you shouldn’t feel guilty. Some people are better off being single, or in a situation where they can meet the true love of their life.